It turns out that the issue is that the opencv for Java library is NOT "thread safe", so it's bad if multiple threads of Java code both try to interact with the VideoCapture object at the same time.
To avoid this, you need to add both of these lines inside the event handling code for the slider (when the changed event happens), in order to shut down the timer's thread (and wait for it to finish) whenever the scrollbar is used.
timer.shutdown(); // stop the auto-playing
timer.awaitTermination(1000, TimeUnit.MILLISECONDS);